There has been so many things happening. Actually, there isn't many, but its the same person with different people? Or maybe is just me thinking way too much. No where to vent my frustrations as social media seems to be like getting judged by many many people. LOL.
I don't like to be a substitute for a friend. Or like a spare person to talk to. I hate that feeling. Just because you are arguing with them, and they are ignoring you. doesn't mean that you should be talking to me. I mean I am being nice to act like I don't know what is going on and continue to talk to you. I didn't want to think so bad about you but i just can't help it. Then next moment when they are okay with you alr, and boomz, you are gone. TBH, i rather you not coming and talk to me, because i have my peace and productive study time when I don't use my phone. :)
Oh well, whatever. Whether or not you are treating me as a friend, I have no idea. I don't want to care either. Fine, if you see me as a threat, or competitor or just a person who you can leech on, then I am sorry. I don't allow friends who don't treat me as a friend to leech me. :)
And then, i don't like how i am feeling drifted from another person. I don't want. I still want our bakerzin tea and dessert session cum chit chatting for hours sessions. I really hope we will continue having.. and are still close to each other. I don't want to drift from you. Then again, seeing you close with another girl now, and like getting less close with me, i just feel sad. I can't help but feel sad that she seem to be replacing me. I don't want to be replaced.
This post makes me sound like a whinebaby. Don't want to be a substitute and don't want to be replaced. ): I feel so overwhelmed these few days. Easily emo. Finals are coming. I need to focus alr.
Actually I am focusing well. just that when i am travelling to school or home, My mind wonders, and everything pops to my head. All these stuff. And I can't help but to emo and think. ): I guess ultimately, its all my own problems. I am just a person who can't handle such stuff. Or I don't know what I should do. I thought I have tried. I really did tried, but perhaps to them, I didn't.
Another thing, I feel super super super bad to think that to my another friend. I shouldn't be thinking that way. But again, I can't help but do so. Why is it that any guy that I am close to, you will come in between us and be close to them and they drift from me. ); I feel super sian of that. I feel super bad to think like that. But I am actually bu shuang. And i don't really like it, I feel super super bad and evil on why i am having such thoughts of you. All these while, i am not having good thoughts about you actually.
When have I became so evil? when? ):
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