OH GAWDD..

i seriously think that i am so abnormal of being a girl. i mean is like, all my frends around me has their crushes or bf.. but why am i feeling so indifferent? is like i dun have crush, neither bf. it jus sounds so wierd, i mean is like why am i not liking someone...always been my friends having huge crush or hving darlings aka bf. im so so so abnormal among them. i like guys ar, but is like i dunno why i dun have any crush at all. is like i tot crush are suppose to be normal for growing? am i having some problems in growing? -.- I DUN WAN TO BE ABNORMAL. but i cant find anyone to like/crush on aso. is like erm, someone i really love from my heart? gawd, i jus feel im so way not normal like a girl should be.. what shud i do? i am sooo different?!! im like so not nice looking and fat, so no guys would crush on me. cos who the world will, is like hello? who likes fat and short and not nice looking girl like me? so i shud jus forget about having a bf and liking/loving someone. D=

nowadays im so turn off. I DUNNO WHY. maybe im jus sad , angry about myself. and maybe stress too. im giving myself too much of a stress. why is my results so sucky? im like cant take it, I MUST DO WELL FOR SA1. but that is so hard. exams, gawd, can u jus kill me and let me get out of this stupid mess.

i am stupid, i am ugly, i am so not of a use. a person like me with no talents shud jus get out of the world and not to waste the earth resources and the atmosphere. still cant figure out the reason of living alrd. im sick of it.

hey, im having low self esteem. hmm, i cannt. MUS BRACE UP. stay cheerful! and jus put on my artificial face when im outside. especially in the 3E4 classroom. there is where my fake nicole is inside. is jus a different me. inside there, there is no true frends, they are jus a bunch of competitors, that will laugh/make fun/tease/look down on you when u get poor results and did a wrong thing. they are smart but has a superb low sense of being a person. is there a must to be so DAMN PROUD when u are inside sci3 stream? i dun see a need to lo. is jus a stream that drives ppl like me crazy.. i dun even noe the hell lot why i am inside. inside this class. our amaths lessons is SO DAMN SLOW?! we haven even touch on partial fraction, logs, surds, indices. WTH is our amaths class going? SLOW LIKE SHIT. sometimes i can even really fall asleep in the lessons. i dunno why, maybe im jus too used of two years mr tee lessons. the pace of him and all his famous qoutes. is so memorable. mayb i shud jus get used to this class. im actually used to it alrd, maybe i shud get MORE used to it. cos i still finds that im not used to the lessons only. oh gawd, i only like mayb nth? wth, i dun like any lessons?

nonono, i shud have some. emaths, i jus slack there, and mayb joke with our ft. she is a nice person. kinda like her alrd. :D amaths, hmm, is okay luh, maybe if it is alittle faster, i would LOVE it. :D now i jus like the way she speaks. hahas, quite cute.LOL. english, hahas, her lessons sometimes are quite fun. hahas! kinda like her lessons alrd. bio! i like the way our teacher speaks. it can get into my head much better but then, still i got b3 for it... chem, hahas, i jus dun like her way of staring at me or at the person behind me. cos is so scary. but i dun think she is staring at me. cos i didnt do anything wrong aso. LOL. think that is all, my fav subj, amaths,emaths,chem,bio. hahas! i got A1 for the first three. except for bio. cos i failed one stupid assignment. i nv do the last three questions. -.- i got zero for that..and all my other frends never do aso never kena. WTH CAN! -.-

but i like the moments we bond to eat. hahas. but i always had to go home early. -.- my mum nagging me. she say if i keep always going home that late, i m not allowed. >.<>plus is fun and enjoying time to be bonding to eat with them hahas! with ms ong and wip and yeechin sometimes.

great, there is hell lots of activities popping from NEXT WEEK onwards.. im going to breakdown for the second time, i think soon..